


good signs

by oisugasuga



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Coming Out, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, M/M, Pining, Temporarily Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-02-04 17:02:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18608773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oisugasuga/pseuds/oisugasuga
Summary: Oikawa had fallen in love with Iwaizumi almost without realizing it… and it had just as quickly turned into a pipe dream the moment Iwaizumi started seeing a girl at uni.Oikawa had accepted it. It had hurt. It had taken time… but he had done it. He loved Iwaizumi too much as a friend to let his romantic feelings ruin things between them. He loved Iwaizumi’s happiness, wanted to protect it no matter what.Until Oikawa had started noticing things, little by little. Little signs and signals.Iwa-chan really did wear his heart on his sleeve after all.Until the soft, sweet-spoken girls Iwaizumi seemed to be into stopped showing up at their dorm or coming with them to outings. Until Iwaizumi had claimed he wasn’t going to date because he wanted to focus on volleyball and school — vehemently denying it was for any other reason even if he was already getting top marks. Until Iwaizumi had started looking at Oikawa when he thought he wouldn’t notice — watching him flirt with guys in the cafeteria or just when Oikawa was doing something mundane like washing dishes.





	good signs

Oikawa wondered if he was being too over-the-top.

 

_Nah, probably not_ , his brain was quick to assure him. _He’s watching, isn’t he? It’s working._

 

Yeah. Yeah, he was right.

 

Oikawa smirked. He kept moving to the beat, dancing alone amidst the heaving, sweating throng of people out here — eyes fluttering closed, hips swaying, the sweet stickiness of vodka on his tongue.

 

The bass beat up through his sneakers. It shivered over his skin and he had goosebumps but it wasn’t just from the thrill of dancing… most of it was credited to the guy watching him from the sidelines.

 

_Funny_ , Oikawa thought, cracking his eyes open to find him again. 

 

Funny because he wasn’t usually this sensitive to someone watching him. He was never this attuned to the gazes that hovered at the edges of his vision when he was out and tipsy and dancing by himself, luring people in with sugar-sweet promises.

 

But this… this man’s eyes were different. They _burned_. They called to Oikawa and God, did he yearn for them. He looked for them like a boat lost at sea searched for a lighthouse signal.

 

He always had.

 

Because Oikawa knew those eyes. 

 

Because Iwaizumi Hajime had been his best friend his entire life… because those eyes had been on Oikawa for as long as he could remember.

 

But Iwaizumi… Iwaizumi had never looked at Oikawa like _that_. 

 

Not even when Oikawa had bluntly said, "I’m gay," that muggy afternoon in their second year of high school — lying splayed out on Iwaizumi’s bedroom floor — and Iwaizumi had frozen halfway into pushing a sci-fi movie into the player, turning around to look at Oikawa in the corresponding dead silence.

 

Not even when Oikawa had pushed too hard, too fast their freshman year of uni and had collapsed on the court as his knee screamed at him with pain and Iwaizumi was there in a heartbeat — looming over him, shouting for someone to call the hospital, cradling Oikawa’s head and telling him it would be okay, it would be alright, just hang on.

 

Not even when Oikawa had brought the first guy he’d ever had a one-night stand with home to their apartment and had stumbled through the front door and into the tiny kitchen only to look up and realize Iwaizumi was _right there_ , watching with wide eyes and a mug halfway to his lips as the guy wrapped around Oikawa sucked a bruise into his throat.

 

No. None of those times had been like this. Iwaizumi had never looked at him the way he was looking at him now.

 

Except for once. Except for that one time last weekend, in that bathroom.

 

Oikawa knew why tonight was different… and it sent a dark thrill right through his center.

 

They’d been dancing around each other for _weeks_ now — a stubborn back and forth, hovering just at the edges of each other’s event horizons but never letting go. Never passing that point of no return.

 

It had been driving Oikawa slightly crazy but Iwaizumi, apparently, was just too stubborn to admit that maybe — just maybe — he’d started seeing Oikawa as more than just a friend.

 

Oikawa’s lips curled up farther as he grinned.

 

_Too bad_ , he thought.

 

Too bad Iwa-chan wore all of his emotions on his sleeve. Too bad he’d been showing signs of interest, of possibility, for the past few months.

 

Too bad he had practically admitted his feelings last weekend — because Oikawa remembered all too well the press of Iwaizumi’s lips against his ear. He remembered the sweet, vodka-stained scent of his breath. He remembered how fucking _close_ they had gotten before Makki just had to burst through the bathroom door, shouting about how bad he had to pee.

 

That had really broken the moment. It had been like a bucket of ice-cold water over both of their heads and Oikawa had been a second away from committing homicide but Iwaizumi… Iwaizumi had recoiled like he’d been burned.

 

Ever since then he’d been dodgy. Every time Oikawa tried to get close, Iwaizumi pulled away.

 

So Oikawa had given him his space. He wasn’t an asshole. Besides, Iwaizumi had barely even come out to him in the first place — just a slurred mumble one drunken night last year that had given it away.

 

That had been the one and only time Oikawa had heard his best friend say it… but it was enough to give him some semblance of hope. 

 

Not too much though and not just because three years of unrequited love had taught Oikawa to be cautious either… it was also because what did it matter if Iwaizumi actually wasn’t straight? That still wasn’t enough to mean he liked Oikawa like that.

 

But still… it had given Oikawa the briefest flicker of chance to grab onto, so bright it had blinded him because he had never - he had never _dared_ to think it could be like this between the two of them.

 

And tonight… tonight, Iwaizumi had been the one to make the first move. _He’d_ been the one to text, asking Oikawa to meet up for a night out. Just the two of them.

 

Usually Iwaizumi would’ve invited some teammates to come along… Oikawa hadn’t missed the subtleness with which his friend had entirely avoided doing so tonight.

 

And Oikawa had had a little bit to drink since getting here… but not too much to smother the weight of his best friend’s eyes watching from the edge of the dance floor.

 

Not too much to ignore the way Iwaizumi kept touching him — a hand on the back of his neck, fingers wrapped around Oikawa’s elbow, his palm pressed to Oikawa’s lower back.

 

As he continued to dance, Oikawa’s mind wandered. He thought about the first time he had realized Iwaizumi was what he wanted. The first time he had ever thought about him as more than a friend.

 

God, that had been back in high school, hadn’t it? Sometime between graduating and shipping off to college, Oikawa had been hit head-on by the realization. He had felt something different stir beneath his ribs every time his best friend walked into the room — something heavy and hot and confusing. 

 

Oikawa had fallen in love with Iwaizumi almost without realizing it… and it had just as quickly turned into a pipe dream the moment Iwaizumi started seeing a girl at uni. 

 

Oikawa had accepted it. It had hurt. It had taken time… but he had done it. He loved Iwaizumi too much as a friend to let his romantic feelings ruin things between them. He loved Iwaizumi’s happiness, wanted to protect it no matter what.

 

Until Oikawa had started noticing things, little by little. Little signs and signals. 

 

Iwa-chan really did wear his heart on his sleeve after all.

 

Until the soft, sweet-spoken girls Iwaizumi seemed to be into stopped showing up at their dorm or coming with them to outings. Until Iwaizumi had claimed he wasn’t going to date because he wanted to focus on volleyball and school — vehemently denying it was for any other reason even if he was already getting top marks. Until Iwaizumi had started looking at Oikawa when he thought he wouldn’t notice — watching him flirt with guys in the cafeteria or just when Oikawa was doing something mundane like washing dishes. 

 

Until Iwaizumi had started disappearing from their dorm for the night every time Oikawa had a date when he had never bothered to before.

 

And it had all culminated into last weekend — into Oikawa taking a leap of faith and flirting with his best friend on a threadbare couch in someone’s basement, liquid courage coursing through his veins and a fragile kind of hope in his heart. Into Iwaizumi sucking in a breath and watching Oikawa like he was something new and terrifying and wonderful. Into the two of them somehow winding up in the bathroom with that ugly yellow floor and horrible flower decals and Iwaizumi’s mouth at Oikawa’s ear and the press of the sink into Oikawa’s lower back and all it would have taken would have been a slight turn of his head, just the barest movement, to kiss Iwaizumi then. Just the barest tip forward over that event horizon.

 

Too bad. Too bad it hadn’t happened.

 

But tonight… Oikawa continued to dance and he waited. Tonight would be different. He hoped so at least.

 

The bar they were at wasn’t too large but it was sufficiently packed. Oikawa was surrounded… but no matter how many people danced and moved around him, he could always feel Iwaizumi’s eyes. 

 

Sensitive. He felt like his entire body was narrowed down to Iwaizumi and Iwaizumi only — attuned to whatever signals his best friend threw his way.

 

He wondered what the other was thinking, right now. He wondered if he knew what Oikawa was doing — trying to lure him in, giving him another chance to get out here and do something, finally. 

 

He wondered, as he danced, if Iwaizumi felt just as stir-crazy — drunk off of weeks of tension between the two of them. 

 

Drunk off of the looks they threw each other when they thought the other wasn’t looking. Drunk off of the excuses to touch each other whenever they were together — a leg over a waist during movie nights, a hand on the back of a neck after practice, pinkies brushing when they walked to class.

 

Oikawa felt ready to burst with it all.

 

So the moment warm hands landed at his waist, Oikawa sighed and pushed back into the touch.

 

"Took you long en-," he started, craning his neck as his eyes fluttered back open… only to see a guy who was most definitely _not_ Iwa-chan standing behind him. 

 

This guy was tall — taller even than Oikawa — and had a smile Oikawa didn’t like very much. His hands were uncomfortably warm the longer they stayed at Oikawa’s waist — moist and limp like cheese sandwiches left too long in the sun.

 

"Oh," Oikawa managed and Mr. Smiley laughed. The sound was obnoxious — too high-pitched and loud, like the man was trying too hard.

 

"Not who you were expecting?" the stranger asked — trying his best to be coy, the poor thing, although all it came across as was oily — and Oikawa turned in his grip, smiling sweetly.

 

"Not even close," he drawled. The message behind his tone didn’t go unnoticed. He could tell by the falter in the man’s grin that he’d heard it crystal clear.

 

But Oikawa barely had time to feel the satisfaction before another figure was joining their little bubble on the dance floor.

 

_Finally_ , Oikawa thought with a dark thrill of excitement. Iwa-chan had finally taken the bait… and Oikawa had Mr. Smiley to thank for it apparently. Maybe the stranger wasn’t so bad after all.

 

Iwaizumi’s face was the epitome of a warning, flashing in neon colors. His dark brows were furrowed. Oikawa felt an odd surge of fondness and excitement at the expression. He wanted to smooth that frown out with his fingertips. He wanted to kiss him.

 

"He’s with me," Iwaizumi bit out over all of the noise. Oikawa simpered, batting his eyelashes up at the stranger who seemed momentarily frozen — like he’d crystallized right there, struck dumb by humiliation while his eyes flickered back and forth between the two of them.

 

Oikawa helped him out a bit.

 

With a light laugh, he disentangled himself from the warm moistness of Mr. Smiley’s hands and then wrapped himself around Iwaizumi instead, draping himself over his shoulders from behind.

 

Oikawa’s heart did a little leap into his throat, feeling Iwaizumi stiffen beneath him and then relax. His back was so warm and firm and Oikawa could feel the muscles shift there, underneath his best friend’s t-shirt. And the back of Iwaizumi’s neck was right there too… how many times had Oikawa longed to kiss there? How many times had he imagined kissing at all of that tanned skin and making Iwaizumi writhe beneath him?

 

Crooking a chin over Iwaizumi’s shoulder — Oikawa could have a little fun with both of them, couldn’t he? — Oikawa winked at the stranger and then watched sympathetically as said man flushed hot all at once and turned on his heel, disappearing quickly.

 

"Aww, Iwa-chan," Oikawa breathed, still messing around. "Were you jealous?"

 

Iwaizumi turned in one, fluid movement. Oikawa hadn’t been expecting it and so he stumbled, but there were warm hands back at his waist… only this time, the touch sent something electric surging over Oikawa’s skin.

 

"Idiot," Iwaizumi growled out. "You can’t just let anyone be all over you. Not when you’re drunk."

 

"But I’m not drunk, Iwa-chan. And neither are you." Oikawa was tired of waiting. He had to know. Iwaizumi had been making him wait — making him wonder — for so long and Oikawa… Oikawa couldn’t get that night out of his head. He couldn’t get that burn out of his veins, the one that ached for Iwaizumi’s touch.

 

Iwaizumi had been sending him confusing signals for too long and tonight… tonight, Oikawa was going to fucking figure out what they meant.

 

Still grinning, Oikawa invaded more of Iwaizumi’s space, stepping closer.

 

"Hmm, Iwa-chan?" he purred. "So what is it then? Did you actually think I was going to get into trouble… or did you just not want someone else touching me?"

 

Oikawa watched the hunger bloom in Iwaizumi’s eyes like he would’ve watched another team’s attack from the other side of the net — calculating, ready, preparing himself for what came next. His heart tripped over itself, just a little.

 

"That makes no sense." Iwaizumi’s voice was gruff but he made no move to leave. He just stood there and he let his hands stay at Oikawa’s hips and Oikawa wished he would stop avoiding the question.

 

"It makes perfect sense," Oikawa argued back, keeping his tone easy and laid-back. He started moving them to the beat, swaying his hips and sliding his palms up to Iwaizumi’s broad shoulders. God, he felt good. Iwaizumi smelled good too — like bourbon and something spicy… his cologne, Oikawa guessed.

 

"Iwa-chan," he drawled again, relishing the way Iwaizumi’s eyes flickered up to his. His best friend was blushing, of all things — a darling little flush just under his eyes. And it certainly wasn’t helping that he kept licking his lips, moistening them with a swipe of his tongue.

 

Oikawa felt like groaning at the sight but he held himself in check. He didn’t want to scare Iwaizumi off after all.

 

"You didn’t answer the question," he said instead. Iwaizumi scowled. The music suddenly increased in volume.

 

"I -," Iwaizumi started, raising his voice to be heard. 

 

"Come here," Oikawa interrupted. He was damned if he was going to let the DJ get in between this conversation.

 

Iwaizumi didn’t protest and Oikawa was grateful. He didn’t really like this new feeling he had in his chest as he tugged his best friend through the crowd to somewhere quieter.

 

It was more _feelings_ than feeling.

 

It was vulnerability. It was fear that he had read all of the signs wrong and Iwaizumi hadn’t meant anything by their encounter the other weekend in that bathroom. It was anxiety and potential heartbreak and Oikawa hated feeling like this… but he would for Iwaizumi. He would feel whatever it took to get to the bottom of things for Iwaizumi.

 

Somewhere quieter turned out to be through a back door to the bar and out into the cramped, narrow alleyway behind it.

 

They were still holding hands, Oikawa realized, when he stopped and the door thudded shut behind them.

 

Iwaizumi didn’t move. He glanced around their surroundings and then narrowed his gaze at Oikawa. His fingers were warm and terrifyingly still in Oikawa’s grip. 

 

"What the hell are we doing out here?"

 

Oikawa smiled and then shrugged, swinging their arms between them to dispel the butterflies in his stomach. Iwaizumi’s fingers twitched against his palm.

 

"I couldn’t hear you in there, Iwa-chan. After all, you’re so low to the ground…"

 

"Oy."

 

"Kidding, kidding. But really. I couldn’t hear you. Oh and by the way, you ruined my chances at a perfectly good piece of ass in there. He looked like he’d be fun, didn’t he? And you had no tact, Iwa-chan. You scared the poor thing half to death with your scary face, storming over like that."

 

Oikawa let his lips curve up into that ridiculously bright smile he wore like a second skin sometimes when he was done speaking. It was part defense mechanism (in case Iwaizumi told him he could go ahead and find Mr. Smiley again, he wasn’t stopping him) and part bait… because it was beginning to look more and more like Iwaizumi was finally going to speak his piece.

 

When Iwaizumi did nothing but furrow his brows and glare at a spot near Oikawa’s left shoulder, Oikawa grew a little braver. He sure hoped his palms weren’t going to start sweating now. There was no air conditioning out here — crammed between the dumpsters and empty beer bottles littered over the ground — and he could feel a bead of sweat roll down the back of his neck.

 

Iwaizumi’s sneakers bumped into the tips of his own.

 

"Mm, so what were you going to say inside, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa pushed. "Did it bother you, _Hajime_?"

 

He was well aware that the vodka in his system was doing a lot of the talking… but it got a reaction this time.

 

"Did what bother me, _Tooru_?" Iwaizumi asked and his voice was so low, and the sound of Oikawa’s first name on his tongue was so riveting, that Oikawa had to mentally jerk himself away from the images it produced in his head.

 

Iwaizumi didn’t leave. He didn’t say they should get back inside or go home. He didn’t complain.

 

He just stared at Oikawa with those liquid bright eyes and wet lips and Oikawa finally — _finally_ — saw it again. He saw that look. The one from the bathroom with the ugly yellow floor and the horrible flower decals.

 

"Did it bother you that he was touching me?" Oikawa breathed. The air between them was electric and it wasn’t just his imagination. Iwaizumi had never looked at him like _that_.

 

All it would take on Iwaizumi’s part was a yes. One syllable. One little push over that edge…

 

"What? You mean like this?"

 

Oikawa had no time to think before Iwaizumi had him turned around. All he could do was suck in a breath, taken completely off guard, and then his mind went white-hot and blank as Iwaizumi pushed up against him from behind, their bodies suddenly lined up from heel to chest.

 

"Is this what you meant, _Tooru_?"

 

Oikawa swallowed and bit his tongue to keep down the noise that was strangling at the base of his throat at the unexpected heat and solidness of Iwaizumi behind him… of his hands at Oikawa’s waist, fingertips ghosting up under his t-shirt.

 

This was happening. This was actually happening and if Oikawa weren’t so shell-shocked by the entire thing — by Iwaizumi’s fucking surprises — he would’ve broken free already to fulfill his fantasy from a few moments ago.

 

As it was, all he could really do was push back into the touch with a yearning he felt tug deep in the pit of his stomach.

 

"Iwa-chan," he breathed out, not even caring that his voice shook slightly despite his falsely nonchalant, cheery tone. Iwaizumi had gotten taller in college and they were close to the same height and God, Oikawa could feel his breath on the back of his neck, hot and damp and distracting.

 

"How forward," he continued instead, stilling himself. "What would people think, hm, if they saw you -"

 

"Tooru," Iwaizumi interrupted and his voice was different now, strained. Tentative. "If you don’t - I mean, if you - I need you to -"

 

God. That was adorable. Absolutely _precious_. Oikawa’s knees felt weak. He’d heard that tone before… usually when someone was getting ready to confess to him. 

 

He’d just never dreamed of hearing Iwaizumi’s voice that way.

 

Oikawa got over his stupor quickly and when he turned around, Iwaizumi was biting at his lower lip and frowning. His arms fell easily from around Oikawa’s waist, letting him go.

 

When cool air rushed back in to take their place, Oikawa had another thought. 

 

Maybe Iwaizumi had just been messing around. Maybe he’d just been roughhousing him the way he always did when Oikawa got a little too rambunctious, a little too annoying and he was just tired now and wanted to go home.

 

The thought was gut-wrenching.

 

But - but Iwaizumi was looking at him like that again and he had never looked at him like that before. They had been together since the very beginning and Oikawa had seen a lot of looks on Iwaizumi’s face over the years. Some of them stood out more than others. 

 

This one was different from all of the rest. It was new.

 

Somewhere in the back of Oikawa’s head he saw his best friend again that one night — standing in their kitchen, the mug halfway to his lips and his eyes blown wide at the sight of Oikawa kissing the boy he’d dragged home without thinking. He saw the flush on Iwaizumi’s cheeks back then, the shock and then the curiosity and then an odd look caught halfway between wondering and an epiphany.

 

He heard Iwaizumi’s voice on that volleyball court, the only solid thing in a world of absolute agony, and he saw his eyes — dark and filled with a terror that matched the feeling within Oikawa so flawlessly he had nearly felt calm seeing it reflected in Iwaizumi’s face.

 

And he saw him in that afternoon light, the day Oikawa had come out. He heard Iwaizumi’s teenage voice like it was happening again.

 

_"So what? What’re you worrying about? Don’t cry. You’re still Tooru. You’re still my best friend. Dumbass."_

 

"Tooru, if you -," Iwaizumi tried again and Oikawa jerked back to the present with a blink. 

 

Iwaizumi licked his lips. Oikawa’s stomach twisted.

 

_Come on_ , he thought, staying silent. _Just tell me. Please._

 

"It did."

 

Iwaizumi breathed the words out slowly, like he was unsure of where he was going with his declaration. 

 

Oikawa watched in rapt, mute silence as his friend’s face twisted and then straightened out. Some sort of resolve took over Iwaizumi then and his shoulders straightened and he raised his chin and for some reason Oikawa thought he saw himself there, in his friend’s eyes, for a moment. Like they were really just one person and not two.

 

Like they had always been one person — like they had been split into two, but they would always return to each other.

 

"It did bother me."

 

"And?"

 

Oikawa couldn’t help it. He blurted out the word before thinking, barely breathing, and Iwaizumi swallowed hard, his throat working.

 

"And nothing, dumbass," he answered but it lacked the usual bite. "It just - it -"

 

That was enough though. It was enough for Oikawa. 

 

He moved slowly. He moved carefully. He kept his eyes on Iwaizumi the entire time and he hoped that his best friend could see _that_ look on his face this time. 

 

He hoped Iwaizumi could see just how much he meant to him, written there all over Oikawa’s face.

 

Oikawa reached out and he tilted Iwaizumi’s chin up with a finger crooked just under it. He could feel Iwaizumi’s pulse — thundering below the surface of his skin — as he stared at him with large eyes, mouth slightly parted in surprise.

 

"Let’s go home," Oikawa murmured. He was burning. He felt like he was blazing, combusting under Iwaizumi’s gaze.

 

And when Iwaizumi swallowed thickly and nodded, Oikawa wondered if his friend felt the same.

 

He wondered if he was finally reading the signs right.

 

———————————

 

The force with which they stumbled through the front door and into the genkan was hard enough that the door hit the wall with a crack.

 

If Oikawa could’ve cared less, he would have.

 

But he didn’t. He didn’t care if the neighbors heard or even if they would have to pay for a dent in the hard-wall later.

 

Because Iwaizumi was _kissing_ him.

 

Oikawa didn’t really remember exactly how it happened… but again, he didn’t give a fuck.

 

All that mattered — all that had ever seemed to ever matter — was the warm, soft insistence of Iwaizumi’s lips on his.

 

Oikawa groaned and kicked back with a foot, knocking the front door closed.

 

"Iwa-ch-," he gasped out… but the word stuttered off as Iwaizumi seemed to read his mind and the click of the lock turning reached Oikawa’s ears.

 

And then Iwaizumi was everywhere. 

 

His body pushed Oikawa into the wall and his hands were in Oikawa’s hair — messing it up with tugs and pulls — and his mouth was soft and wet and at the corner of Oikawa’s lips before Oikawa slotted them back together fully with a desperate whine.

 

Oikawa didn’t remember getting from the genkan to the couch either but they were on top of it then and Iwaizumi was in his lap and Oikawa let his mind run blank because this was happening. This was finally happening. His best friend was sitting in Oikawa’s lap and they were making out like two, fumbling high school kids.

 

"Tooru," Iwaizumi muttered against his mouth before kissing him roughly. His voice was low and scratchy. He tasted like bourbon and sugar and Oikawa knew he was going to remember that taste for the rest of his life. 

 

Oikawa shuddered beneath him and dug his fingers into the soft curve of Iwaizumi’s waist and arched up, using his height to his advantage as Iwaizumi leaned over him. 

 

Oikawa wanted to kiss him everywhere. He wanted to show Iwaizumi just how much he had meant to him all this time, how much he still meant to him. 

 

As it was, he was a little preoccupied by the tug of Iwaizumi’s teeth suddenly in the tender flesh of his lower lip and Oikawa cursed under his breath at how tight his stomach got at the feeling. Iwaizumi tugged harder, scraping his teeth over the sensitive fullness of Oikawa’s mouth and Oikawa groaned this time, an embarrassingly loud noise in the quiet of their apartment.

 

"Tooru," Iwaizumi said again and in between kisses, breathless, "if this is - what is this?"

 

Oikawa stopped. He paused and Iwaizumi stilled against him too, their lips separating with a wet pop. For a moment they just stared at each other.

 

Oikawa knew he should answer the question but… but Iwaizumi was gorgeous. They hadn’t turned on the lights but the blinds on the window were cracked just enough that the streetlight swarmed in and lit Iwaizumi up and Oikawa couldn’t stop staring. He probably looked like an idiot, but he couldn’t help it.

 

He felt like he was dreaming. Iwaizumi was warm and heavy in his lap. He was biting his lower lip again — an adorably nervous gesture Oikawa didn’t see usually — and the yellowish light from outside made all of his edges look hazy. The flush crawling down his neck disappeared beneath the simple, black t-shirt he had on.

 

The sight of him — softer than his usual rough attitude with his knees clutched around Oikawa’s waist and uncertainty in his eyes — made Oikawa’s heart squeeze.

 

He licked his lips.

 

"I like you, Iwa-chan."

 

The words were a wing flap on the air, lighter than Oikawa had meant… but he felt like the moment would break if he were too loud. His heart was already doing a tremendous job at being loud. It kept crashing against his ribcage every time Iwaizumi looked at him or breathed or shifted.

 

It was pumping into overdrive now because sure, they’d been kissing but - but they’d both had something to drink tonight hadn’t they? And Iwaizumi was so quiet now, just staring at him like Oikawa had grown a second head and some tentacles to boot.

 

They’d kissed and Iwaizumi was sitting on his legs but Oikawa… Oikawa still couldn’t read him and it was infuriating. It pushed the haze of pleasure back a little too, as he worried.

 

Maybe Iwaizumi liked guys too but what if… what if he didn’t like Oikawa? What if this was just him coming to terms with his sexuality and he didn’t -

 

"I -," Iwaizumi tried, shattering Oikawa’s rapid-fire thoughts. Iwaizumi cleared his throat. "I, um, this is… this is new for me. I didn’t think… I didn’t know - Tooru, why did you never say anything?"

 

Oikawa blinked. He took a moment to collect his thoughts.

 

"It -," he tried finally, voice raspier than he had first noticed. "I never thought to, I guess," he admitted truthfully, quietly.

 

Iwaizumi looked down at their position. He looked down and he bit his lip again and Oikawa felt something tiny in him begin to fissure, break. He wished he knew what Iwaizumi was thinking. He felt like that boat on the ocean — lost in choppy waves, looking for a light. Looking for a good sign.

 

"Iwa-chan," Oikawa said, taking a deep breath even though his chest was beginning to ache. Maybe this had been too fast. Or maybe it shouldn’t have happened at all.

 

"Hajime," Oikawa repeated, waiting for Iwaizumi to look at him. "It’s okay if you’re confused. If you don’t - if you don’t want this -"

 

"No, Tooru, God. Just - just give me a second."

 

A pause. A break in the hesitant, faltering words that Oikawa felt in his bones. It was so quiet he could only hear the hum of the air conditioning and the creak of the old fridge.

 

But he waited. He would wait for however long it took for Iwaizumi.

 

His best friend was obviously struggling with something so Oikawa kept quiet and still and he just watched. Hope felt like it was beating hard and fast at the base of his throat, hanging on.

 

Then Iwaizumi took a deep breath. He looked down at Oikawa, straight in the eye. He placed his palms on Oikawa’s chest and boy, did Oikawa hope he couldn’t feel the desperate thump his pulse did just then because it was embarrassing how undone he became just from that simple touch.

 

"This is new for me, but…," Iwaizumi started, completely serious and sincere. "… but I’ve felt like - _this_ for a while now. And I - I know it’s weird because we’ve both known each other since we were babies and you’re my best friend and fuck. I don’t know what I’m doing, I have no _idea_ but I want - fuck. Does it feel weird to you?"

 

Iwaizumi cut off and threw Oikawa a look that was the most endearing of them all — his fucking nose scrunched up like a kid’s and his pretty eyes were wide, vulnerable.

 

Oikawa’s fingers twitched at his sides. Jesus he wanted to kiss Iwaizumi in that moment… maybe more than he ever had before.

 

He shook himself from the fog he was in. Iwaizumi had said "I want" and Oikawa was trying really hard not to run with it. He thought about Iwaizumi’s question instead, his pulse doing overtime.

 

"I mean, it’s going to be a little… weird, I guess," Oikawa said after a second, blinking to steady his thoughts. "But that doesn’t mean it can’t be good. We already know each other. We already know each other’s quirks and bad habits and I already know that you’re a closeted monster fucker so don’t worry about me finding out and leaving you, Iwa-chan and -"

 

"Oy, you take that back," Iwaizumi growled, thrusting a fist into Oikawa’s ribs, and Oikawa laughed with relief and then gasped in pain. "I never said I wanted to fuck Godzilla, Shittykawa. You made that up and then told our entire fucking team that I did. Have you seen the way Nakamura-san has been looking at me ever since?? He avoids me like I have the _plague_ -"

 

"See?" Oikawa grinned up at his best friend — who was still very much seated in a compromising position in his lap — and then smiled wider at Iwaizumi’s blush, feeling himself relax just a tiny bit more at the sight. "We’ve lasted this long haven’t we?"

 

Iwaizumi grew quiet then. He still had his palms on Oikawa’s chest but he wasn’t looking at him. He was staring at the space between Oikawa’s shoulder and his ear, biting his lip again.

 

"Hajime," Oikawa tried once more, feeling a little like he was still approaching a cornered animal. "It’s okay if you want to wait. But I just want you to know that I -" A deep breath and then, "I lov-"

 

There was a hand clapped over Oikawa’s mouth before he could blurt it out. Iwaizumi was positively scowling, thick brows knit together.

 

"Don’t you dare, Asskawa. Don’t you fucking dare start with - with _that_. Wait a second." His voice cracked cutely in the middle of the growled words.

 

"Fwine. Fhen I jwust wana thay that I’fe fwanted yoor aff since high fool." Oikawa mumbled the words into the heat of Iwaizumi’s palm and then licked it on a whim — punch-drunk on everything in this moment — and Iwaizumi wrenched his hand back, nose crinkling in disgust.

 

"What did you just say? Ugh what are you, _five_? Here, you can have _this_ back." Iwaizumi proceeded to wipe Oikawa’s spit onto Oikawa’s t-shirt.

 

"I said," Oikawa repeated, unfazed, "that I’ve wanted your ass since high school."

 

Iwaizumi stared at him for a long, long moment. His facial expression was half someone had just told him the Earth was flat and half exasperation.

 

Then… "You’re unbelievable."

 

Oikawa smiled winningly up at him. "I think you mean I’m unachievable. You know, since no one can get on my level." He sounded like an idiot, he was aware… but it was so much better than the terrifying uncertainty from moments ago.

 

Iwaizumi still just stared at him. He looked like he wanted to punch him so Oikawa braced himself just in case.

 

He also noticed the red flush at the tips of Iwaizumi’s ears and filed the fact away for later use.

 

"You have?" Iwaizumi’s voice when he finally spoke next was quiet and unsure. It took Oikawa a moment to understand what he was asking.

 

"Yeah," he answered quickly and he let his hands return to Iwaizumi’s hips, light and careful. Iwaizumi didn’t push him away or say anything so Oikawa continued, being careful to not come off as teasing this time. He knew it was important to make Iwaizumi believe him… he couldn’t imagine what was going on in the other’s head, but he knew how groundbreaking it had been for him back in high school so he had an idea.

 

Oikawa spoke carefully.

 

"It may have been weird, I guess, at first… but I knew for sure back then… I knew how much you meant to me. You’re my best friend, Iwa-chan. We’ve been through everything together. And I can’t imagine going through the rest of life without you."

 

Dead silence rang through their apartment when he finished, muffled only by the crash of Oikawa’s pulse in his ears. His face felt hot. His hands were definitely sweating now and God, that had been so _cheesy_.

 

But he was glad he’d finally voiced his feelings out loud. A weight felt like it had lifted from his shoulders. He listened to a neighbor slam a door and then to the honk of a car down the street and he held his breath, still blushing and staring at Iwaizumi’s collarbone.

 

And when he finally dared to meet Iwaizumi’s eyes… oh fuck, was he going to _cry_?

 

"Iwa-chan," Oikawa squeaked, alarmed by the brightness swimming in Iwaizumi’s eyes. Maybe he’d had a little more to drink than Oikawa had first thought.

 

"Shh, just - just shut up a second," Iwaizumi hiccuped and then stopped, letting go of Oikawa to grind his fists into his eyes. "God, you - you - you can’t just _say_ things like that, idiot. Dumbass. Trashkawa."

 

Oikawa laughed weakly and then tried to dispel the tension with a joke but his brain was short-circuiting because was Iwaizumi crying a good thing or a bad thing? Was he happy? Upset? Mad?

 

"I mean," Oikawa half-stuttered out, grinning uncertainly, "besides wanting to take on the world with you for the rest of time I also just get the urge to grab your ass all of the time and -"

 

He was stopped, mercifully, by Iwaizumi’s mouth crushed to his.

 

Oikawa barely had time to think that maybe _he’d_ had more to drink than he’d originally thought before Iwaizumi had two fists in the front of his t-shirt and had yanked him up, silencing Oikawa’s ramble with a hard kiss that was wet with tears.

 

Oikawa’s eyes fluttered closed and he groaned low in his throat with surprise and the startling shock of pleasure… and then they were back to where they had been in the beginning — Iwaizumi in his lap, warm and heavy, and mouths working together fervently.

 

It was salty because Iwaizumi was definitely crying now and Oikawa maybe was too but he couldn’t be sure because he felt heady and on top of the world. 

 

Iwaizumi kissing him was a good sign — a very, _very_ good sign.

 

Filled with a new sense of confidence — because Iwaizumi was kissing him like Oikawa had just told him Godzilla was real — Oikawa let his hands slide to Iwaizumi’s lower back to drag him closer. His best friend’s skin was so warm, the heat radiating out from his t-shirt.

 

The sounds of their breathing, the fierceness with which Iwaizumi attacked his mouth, the flex of his muscles beneath his skin… Oikawa wanted more and more and he didn’t think he’d ever stop wanting, frighteningly greedy for everything Iwaizumi could give him.

 

As if he’d heard his thoughts, Iwaizumi’s hot hands slid up the column of Oikawa’s neck to tangle in his hair — to push his jaw up so that Iwaizumi could slot their lips together more easily — and Oikawa hummed his approval against Iwaizumi’s searching mouth, lost in how good it felt. It felt so, so good… better than any fantasy Oikawa had ever come up with because this was real.

 

The fullness of Iwaizumi’s mouth on his and the tight grip of his thighs around Oikawa’s waist were all real. The silky softness of his skin when Oikawa dared to fit his fingers just beneath Iwaizumi’s shirt was real. And the fucking perfect little moan that finally eased from between Iwaizumi’s lips when Oikawa slipped his tongue in his mouth was so real it was intoxicating. Oikawa was going to die happy now that he’d heard that, he knew it.

 

But there was one, little thing he wanted to clarify first…

 

"Um, _ha_ \- Iwa-chan," he gasped out, pulling away with immense difficulty. His lips felt bruised. His blood was singing and he had a growing problem that Iwaizumi was so graciously sitting on and making worse.

 

Iwaizumi’s face didn’t help matters either. His pupils were blown so wide Oikawa couldn’t see their color anymore, dark and hungry. His chest kept falling up and down with his breaths and his mouth was swollen and damp. Oikawa swallowed very, very hard and tried to focus past the wave of heat that overwhelmed him at the sight.

 

"Are we um - I mean are we -," he stuttered, long fingers counting the knobs of Iwaizumi’s spine under his shirt. God his skin was so _soft_. Oikawa wanted to run his hands over all of it. He wanted to suck marks into it, wanted to leave bruises behind where everyone else could see and know. He wanted to -

 

Iwaizumi squirmed in his lap when Oikawa’s hands rose a little farther and around to his sides — mapping out his ribs as he lost his train of thought in his fantasies — and Oikawa gasped at the sudden pressure of Iwaizumi’s ass pushing farther down onto his crotch.

 

"Shit," Iwaizumi bit out, somehow managing to look extremely flustered and turned on at the same time. "Sorry." He flushed harder and didn’t look Oikawa straight in the eye and then mumbled. "What were you gonna say, dumbass? Spit it out already."

 

Oikawa smirked at Iwaizumi’s shyness but he kept the teasing words back in his throat. He ignored the ache in the pit of his stomach and he focused.

 

This was important and he needed to be able to read the signs correctly. He needed to know, once and for all.

 

"Are we boyfriends now, Iwa-chan?" The question came out softer than he’d intended. He sounded unsure even to himself. Vulnerable.

 

The streetlights echoed his vulnerability, soft and mellow through the blinds. Someone started playing music through the paper-thin walls. 

 

Iwaizumi was a lighthouse in the dark, lit up at the edges in gold, and Oikawa was swimming to him, holding his breath -

 

And when Iwaizumi looked at him again and his mouth twitched upwards slowly and then all at once with a soft grin that mirrored every second and day and year of Oikawa’s never-ending hope… well, Oikawa thought, that was the best sign of all.

**Author's Note:**

> This took me a hot minute to finish but here it finally is... some more mutual pining IwaOi bc I don't have the physical or mental ability to write anything else for these two dorks obviously OTL
> 
> Thanks as always for reading, you guys are the wind beneath my wings ♥︎ And as a general PSA: Comments feed my very existence on this planet so leave one behind to keep me watered and healthy and ready to write more IwaOi in the near future (๑ゝڡ◕๑) 
> 
> Per usual, my lovely little blog can be reached by clicking [ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ](https://oisugasuga.tumblr.com/)


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